If you are working as a nurse and you are a mother, you have unique challenges: finding day care to cover a 12-hour shift, taking time to pump breastmilk for your baby while at work, dealing with the emotional stress of your job in a healthy way, and working holidays/weekends/nights. As nurses, we are fortunate to have many different options of when we work to help us plan and manage our children’s needs.

On the other hand, we lack a certain degree of flexibility. Calling in sick makes us feel guilty, and the nursing shortage leaves floors understaffed when nurses are unable to work. Our shifts start and end at precise times and the system affords little alteration to the schedule once it comes out. When things come up in our lives, we may rely more on our partners and extended family networks to get our children where they need to be. While each profession has unique challenges for working mothers, being in a profession that is predominantly women has a particular set of problems for implementing solutions to the work/life balance conundrum.

The nomination of Sarah Palin for the Vice-Presidency of the United States as John McCain’s running mate has been the subject of considerable water cooler and playground discussions among women in all professions. Since many nurses are also working mothers, I feel it is appropriate to look at these discussions and what those discussions tell us about the state of Feminism today.

Sarah Palin is the governor of Alaska, and a mother of five, including a four-month old with Trisomy 21. Her nomination has evoked conflicting sentiments for many women. On one hand, many women recognize that the nomination is another significant milestone for women in politics and that any criticism of her as a mother because of the demands of her career are signs of a serious problem with the central tenets of Feminism. Privately many women are asking themselves how Palin can take on the Vice-Presidency, a 4 month-old with special needs, a son going to Iraq, a pregnant teen, and two other children. Publicly, all women who believe in gender equality say her role as a mother does not alter her ability to be Vice-President and vice-versa. Women have also publicly noted that there is not such controversy about male politicians balancing work and home.

The public versus private dichotomy of feeling about Palin’s ability to fill both roles successfully is a reflection of the general feeling that women have in their own lives about being working mothers. For many, the ideals of Feminism that sold us on equality failed to account for the demands of motherhood.

Motherhood is a demanding career, and there have been several studies that indicate the working mothers still perform the majority of household and childrearing responsibilities even while working high-power jobs. The reality of women’s experience as working mothers is that they often feel they are not as successful as they would like to be in their careers or as mothers. I think much of the ambivalence about Palin is fueled by confusion.

Many women are genuinely unsure of exactly HOW Palin can perform two 24 hour a day, seven day a week jobs when one of them includes travel all over the world. They want to know what her secret is, because they have struggled to integrate work and mothering. With Palin’s voice about this issue absent in the campaign, women quietly feel that she must not be that successful at it.

Feminism sells us on the idea that we can do everything and be everything. Once we have children, we realize there are choices to be made about work, home, co-parenting and some things are sacrificed. While we all may make different sacrifices in this process, most women probably feel they sacrificed in their career, at home, or in both from time to time. I personally feel disillusioned with Feminism because I once believed I could do everything perfectly. Once I had my daughter I realized that being a mother was enough work that I felt I had to slow down in my career to get through babyhood.

Without question I felt meeting my daughter’s needs was my primary concern. While I still plan my career, I do feel that I placed it on hold to be the mother I wanted to be. When I see Sarah Palin seemingly manage motherhood and a career in politics without compromise, I feel a little like a failure for feeling that I couldn’t. If it is possible to be a mother of five and the Vice-President without making sacrifices that will negatively affect career or family, I want to know Palin’s secret. For now, I resent the campaign for selling the image of the mom who can do everything and never break a sweat, especially if the reality is that Palin sacrificed, worried, and felt a fear of utter failure just like so many other working mothers.